so my wife is 3 months pregnant. we are super excited, somewhat terrified but mostly excited. from my own yearnings as a son, i came up with this idea to write to my future spawn, nothing in particular, just my thoughts, my hopes, dreams, fears, etc. there's something in really knowing who your father is that helps you sort through discovering who you are and what you can become. so that is mostly what this is about for me, just an easier way to collect my thoughts for my children so that in 30 years when they are in a similar spot, they can gain some comfort from my experience, of course in 30 years, blogs will be directly linked by computer to your brain, so this won't be nearly as cool then...
the question in my mind right now, the one that really sticks with me, is what kind of father will i be?
being in vocational ministry brings me into contact with a lot of people, and to say that people are dramatically impacted by their relationship or lack thereof with their father is a ridiculously huge understatement. so many of the issues that plague our society can be traced to the breakdown of the family which can be traced to the weakness of men as fathers. fatherless men produce fatherless children.
i was blessed. my dad was loving, an amazing picture of the servant leader, a man willing to put all others before himself. he taught me to work hard, to care for others and that i could do anything i wanted to do, except be an accountant. and yet there is still to this day something missing from that father-son relationship. my dad has for a long time seemed broken, unable to impart wisdom and direction because he seems himself as lacking. so in many ways i have been forced to blindly feel my way through manhood. i taught myself to shave, worked my way through college, chose majors, jobs, churches all on my own. my dad was unwavering in his support of my ability to do, but unwilling or unable to show me how. its pretty heartbreaking to ask your father for some advice on marriage or fatherhood and to be met with some dismissive joke. so my relationship with my father has left me with this strong desire to take all the great things my dad taught me, and build on that to bridge some of the gaps in our relationship.
so, fatherhood.
being in vocational ministry brings me into contact with a lot of people, and to say that people are dramatically impacted by their relationship or lack thereof with their father is a ridiculously huge understatement. so many of the issues that plague our society can be traced to the breakdown of the family which can be traced to the weakness of men as fathers. fatherless men produce fatherless children.
i was blessed. my dad was loving, an amazing picture of the servant leader, a man willing to put all others before himself. he taught me to work hard, to care for others and that i could do anything i wanted to do, except be an accountant. and yet there is still to this day something missing from that father-son relationship. my dad has for a long time seemed broken, unable to impart wisdom and direction because he seems himself as lacking. so in many ways i have been forced to blindly feel my way through manhood. i taught myself to shave, worked my way through college, chose majors, jobs, churches all on my own. my dad was unwavering in his support of my ability to do, but unwilling or unable to show me how. its pretty heartbreaking to ask your father for some advice on marriage or fatherhood and to be met with some dismissive joke. so my relationship with my father has left me with this strong desire to take all the great things my dad taught me, and build on that to bridge some of the gaps in our relationship.
so, fatherhood.
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