So you're here on the outside now. Last Wednesday May 25 I was sitting at my desk at the church when about 115 your mom called me and said "would you rather meet me at the hospital or the house?" My heart jumped and I met your mom at the house. We got to the hospital around 2pm and checked in. My friend Sarah Gruber was working as a nurse and we asked her to be our nurse. The whole labor process was long and pretty tough. Your mom was in crazy pain every 5 minutes for 17 hours, keeping a great attitude the whole time. I've never been so impressed with a person. A little after midnight she asked for an epidural, which made the next 6 hours pretty relaxed. At about 5am on Thursday, momma started pushing and at 6:19 you popped out. Well, really the doctor thrust her hands in around your head and yanked you out. We found out several days later that you had a fractured clavicle, we really didn't know though because you're such a tough guy. It was such an amazing experience. I guess some dads can't stand to be in the room because its too gross or whatever, but it really was miraculous. I still don't understand how everything works together to make a baby, but i'm glad everything does. So the doc yanked you out, and they handed me some scissors to cut the umbilical cord, and i channeled my inner Steve Tumpkin to really cut hard.
Then they placed you on your mom's chest and she was so happy and amazed at how beautiful you were. They put you under an incubator and were trying to get you to cry so you could cough up some junk in your lungs. You didn't cry much, but eventually they gave you a clean bill of health, though you had that wicked bruise down your right forearm. I was so terrified for the first couple of hours after you were born, mostly because they were still a bit concerned about your breathing, but relief finally set in when they let me take you back to mom.
I feel like i ought to break the next few thoughts down into bullet points to make it more palatable, so...
- your mom is the toughest most amazing person i know. I respect and love her now more than ever before
- I was freaking out the first time i changed your diaper because you were crying so hard, your poop was so sticky and some lactation nurse was trying to correct me over my shoulder
- SO many people have come by to see you in the past week. Its actually been tough to find some time alone for the 3 of us.
- My new favorite activity in the world is placing you on my chest after your mom has fed you and watching you sleep with your booty in the air and your arms limp at your side while the side of your face is buried in my chest. We just sit there for hours.
- Your mom blows my mind with how she wakes up in the middle of the night and feeds you for 2 hours sometimes and then can put you in a new diaper and back to sleep without me even waking up. She loves you so much.
- The truth is I'm a little jealous of the quality time you have with her. I might regret thinking this later, but I can't wait until I can wake up and feed you from a bottle in the middle of the night.
So yeah, you've been on the outside for going on 9 days now, and you're amazing. You grunt like a little bear all the time, and its my favorite sound ever. You have tiny hand and tiny toes and all i can think about is protecting you. I had a dream last night about shooting a guy who was trying to take you away from us. I've also been playing a game on my phone called "Dino Cap"where I shoot dinosaurs with a hand gun, so that might have something to do with it, but anyways, I can't wait to watch you grow up a little more every day. You're the greatest thing I've ever been a part of in my life.
Love you Bear-
Dad
